Did I Really Own That?

"How many cars do you own, Kurt?"

I hear it a lot, mainly because I've had multiple vehicles for years. Call it a security blanket or an obsession, it is what it is. Last count came up with four automobiles: my `59 Chevy, a `94 Chev 1/2 Ton, one minivan, and an `86 Cadillac. Plus the Harley. And don't forget the bicycles...I have four of those. Running a tally on these wheels made me think not only of the cars I own, but also the ones I HAVE OWNED as well.

That tally is closer to 33 cars since 1978, plus a whole line of motorcycles.

Some never moved. Some moved far too fast. Some cars - well let's just say they should have moved farther away from me. Each one, in its own right, had some measure of character. But character is a pendulum that can teeter as close to the muck as it can to the marshmallow. Here are some of the highlights:

• `69 Ford Fairlane 500 - 429 power, automatic, total hackjob transplant. It took as much effort to keep gas in the tank as it took to keep the clapped out front end steering straight. Yes, it got 8mpg. Yes, the steering wheel wiggled like a freshman sorority girl. And yes, it was the King Of Second Gear Rubber. Outside of one exception, it was easily the fastest, most dangerous car I've ever owned. The exception happens to be `68 Thunderbird that got the Fairlane's 429 after the car just plain gave up. I always knew it had a good heart.
• `63 VW Wagon - Even VW mechanics wouldn't work on it. Enough said. Traded it for a tape deck. New owner put a Porsche 914 motor in the car and tore up North Seattle.
• `59 International Harvester 1/2 ton stepside - tough, trustworthy, and $350. This truck made more trips across Washington than anything else I've owned. I would have it to this day had I not snapped an axle on Snoqualmie Pass. Try finding a rear end for one of these old Cornbinders; if you do, you'll have about 50 new friends with Internationals. Sold to a scrap yard for $100.
• `77 Olds Cutlass Supreme - $100 buys 4 wheels and 2 doors. I delivered pizza with this car, using it as rolling advertising for the restaurant by painting the company name on the side--along with some well-placed shark's teeth on the front fenders. I made a living wage delivering pizza for one year, thanks to this beastly black bomb named "The Food Shark." My then-brother-in-law eventually parted it out after he didn't pay me for the car.
• `72 Chev Malibu Wagon - 307 power, and nearly 200,000 miles. I owned this prior to learning the importance of clean oil to an engine. Regardless of that, it never complained; in fact it never burned an inordinate amount of oil.....ever. I delivered papers with this car - lots of them. I went through brakes like most people go through sourdough toast. It started every day. That's not to say it didn't have its share of trouble; on the contrary, it had a penchant for loose lug nuts on the driver's side. Transmission linkage adjustments were a quarterly affair. I delivered papers for a month on a bad water pump. And the upper radiator hose "only lasted 2 months" wrapped in a towel and duct tape AFTER it split. Totaled by a guy who ran a red light. Seen one lately?
• `76 Vega GT Wagon - No, it had a GOOD engine. It also had a Borg Warner T-5 five speed, positraction, air conditioning, tinted glass, roof rack, power steering and a tilt column. It was the most decked out Vega I've ever seen, and I haven't seen it since we sold it in `86.
• `78 Camaro - Nothing more than a light blue base-model Camaro with a 4-speed transmission and the most powerful 350 you could get in a non-Z/28. No options, all fun. Gas mileage wasn't bad either.
  

I could go on all day, but I would like to keep you all as friends. Just remember this: if I haven't driven something, it is likely so because I couldn't get it out of the driveway.

Kurt Clark

Originally written July 5, 2000 | Edited and updated for this blog